Atlanta Idol Auditions

After watching the first hour of Idol in Atlanta, I must say that I’m a little disappointed. With all the music moguls we have associated with our fair city, this is what we get?



Dewone Robinson and his original hot mess adaptation of cats in heat. Absolutely dreadful.
Television host, Christy SomebodyOrAnother with her goofy 4-1-1 The Show gesture. She had the unmitigated gall to take Pat Benatar’s Love is a Battlefield and blow the dang song to smithereens. Simon appropriately commented that her show should be called 9-1-1.



And Jesse Hamilton. God bless him. Long, skinny, country kid who apparently inherited George Washington’s wooden teeth. I could barely understand what he was saying because the kid barely opened his mouth. Mary J. cracked two ups before the poor child even started singing, and I was a little disappointed in her for that. But then the kid . . . well, I’ll say he sang just to get on with it, but singing ain’t what he did. It was supposed to be a Garth Brooks song, but it sounded more like something from Garth of Wayne’s World. And no, it was not excellent. At that point, I felt Mary’s pain.



Moving on to Hollywood from the first Atlanta hour is energetic carrot topped Keia Johnson who sang the Titanic song. I thought she was a little too loud, but the judges liked her.
Vanessa Wolf also moved on. She’s a little country girl from Vonore, Tennessee. She sang a little country ditty that had quite a twang to it. I thought she was pretty bad, but the judges liked her.
Jermaine Sellers who takes care of his sick mother also made it through to Hollywood. He sang What if God was One of Us. I thought he was just a little pitchy, but the judges . . . do you see where I’m going with this?



Let’s see what hour two in Atlanta brings . . .It brought on a bunch of crazies is what it brought.
Holly from Rockmart, the Human Guitar. I forget what song she sang, and didn’t think it would matter because I didn’t think she would make it through. I didn’t like her. The judges did.
Mallorie Haley – Another Little Piece of My Heart. I thought she was loud and off key. So of course she goes through to Hollywood. I did like her shoes, though.



And then there was Skiiboski aka Antonio Willis. An apparent character looking for face time. He sang Grapevine and wasn’t too bad, but the whole “act” threw everyone off a little. He did make it through however.



Then we have what is evidently what Barbie’s vomick would look like – BFFs, Carmen & Lauren. Lauren had a sweet, soft voice, barely audible. Carmen comes along and just belts one out. Carmen makes it through. Lauren puts up a good supportive front, but you can tell she’s hurt. I think the second F just fell from the BF.



Police Officer Bryan Walker gets the final golden ticket of the night after his rendition of Superstar ala Luther Vandross. He was deceitfully good. A nerdy looking guy that did Luther proud, IMO. Whodda thunk?



The Atlanta auditions certainly gave us some weirdos, but none as weird or as scary as Lamar Royal (I dubbed him Crazy Joe before I even knew his name). Dude had an okay voice as he tried to perform Kiss from a Rose. He just over did it. As the judges tried to advise him, he talked over them and argued and ranted and raved so much, they had to bring out the muscle and have him escorted out to the street, where he again proved that he needs more work. Dude was actually crazy.



Finishing up the night was General Larry Pitt with what will be this season’s “Brother” song. The General performed his own original song, Pants on the Ground. Simon predicts it will be a hit. I’m afraid he’s right. Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Lookin’ like a fool wit yo’ pants on the ground. Dang it! It’s already stuck in my head.



Let’s hope next week’s visit to Chicago will bring more talent and less crazy. Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. . . DANG IT!