Next, Lex

Who are these people who can afford to give brand new Lexuses (Lexi? Lexesi?) as presents for Christmas? Not a little used Honda or a new Ford, but a Brand New Luxury car. Who are these people, where do they hang out and do they need a friend, daughter, administrator, house keeper or mere acquaintance?  

Quite a few people I know including myself are barely making payments or just living hand-to-mouth like so many others nowadays. And the makers of LEXUS have the nerve to rub into my face the fact that I’m broke. Again. Still.  Really? Thanks for reminding me that I have 10 more payments on a 12 year old car. Thanks for reminding me that I have to splice together two paychecks to pay my mortgage. Thank you for reminding me that I am nowhere near the 10 percent of the people who have 90 percent of the wealth in this country.

Oh yeah, and THANK YOU, Lexus for reminding me that the rate on my credit card just doubled because  I reached my limit and didn't make a payment because I had to use cash to buy gifts for the kids at church whose house burned down last week because they couldn’t afford to keep their heat on and had to use a space heater for warmth, which shorted out and caused the fire, ultimately taking away everything they ever had in life.  Yeah. Thanks.

Honestly, I would think that people who are considering buying a brand new luxury car as a gift would probably not be watching TMZ anyway. Wouldn’t they be at the Vanderpool party sipping spiked eggnog and munching on cookies made with gold dust and diamond butter?

And with the economy the way it is right now, reminding most of us that we can’t even afford what you’re peddling is not too bright of an idea if you ask me, Lexus. But then again, you wouldn’t bother asking me anything anyway, would you?  I’m just a slovenly middle class worker who is just trying to get by. I wouldn’t think about buying your overpriced, poorly disguised Toyota anyway. I would get a Honda. Or a Hyundai. Well, that’s what I have now, so. . .but anyway, it wouldn’t be no Lexus.

So keep your snooty patooty commercials to yourself and let us regular folk continue to dream of our big, hulking overpriced not so luxury SUVs and Cross Countries, uh, Cross Overs. Whatever.  We don’t need no stinking Lexuseses.

Stupid name anyway.

Sir Prize

No one is a bigger supporter of those who serve in the military than me. All of the important men in my life have military connections. My father was a WWII vet, all three of my brothers were in the army, and all of my husbands, past and present served as well. I’ve only had two husbands by the way, and consecutively not concurrently. But any who, I have the utmost respect and admiration for those who serve our country and I’m always happy and filled with joy and relief when they return from a tour away from home.

Nothing gives you a better feeling than when you see your loved one return from facing war or the possibility of war abroad. But lately, and I mean in the last few weeks or so, there has been an influx of news specials featuring service personnel’s’ “surprise” homecomings. And frankly, it’s gettin’ on my nerves.

I’ll admit the first 5, 10, even 20 times were very touching, real tear jerkers if you will. But when it happens every other day for three weeks, it becomes somewhat oh-not-this-againish. Don’t get me wrong, I want them to come home and be greeted lovingly by family and friends and even well meaning strangers. And there should be tears of joy, there should be hugs and kisses, there should be total relief filled faces. What there shouldn’t be is a full camera crew including director, producer and two assistant grips filming the entire occasion.

The problem is that it seems so staged now, there’s just no real feel of genuine emotion coming through the flat screen anymore.

As if on cue, camera one pans to little Timmy conveniently sitting on the opposite side of the room. Reporter, report! What little Timmy doesn’t know is that his dad, Big Tim is returning home from Iraq today and will surprise him in the middle of his English class (A class that little Timmy is failing terribly by the way. He continues to spell Iraq with two ‘k’s and a ‘w’. We may want to think about surprising little Timmy with a DVD of Sesame Street when this is all over.)

Now pan to the opposite side of the room and BAM! In walks Big Tim in full Army camouflage garb. Quick, back to little Timmy. Surprise look and run, little Timmy, run. Jump in daddy’s arms and hide your face while making sobbing noises. Big Tim, kiss little Timmy on the head and tell him you love him. Little Timmy, look into the camera and say, I love you too daddy. Bury face in daddy’s shoulder, and . . . scene.


Wait, we have to do that one over. Kayla was in the background eating her boogers. Again. Can someone escort Kayla to the cafeteria for a snack please? Now let’s take it from little Timmy’s surprise expression. Action!

And so it goes time and time again. I expect there to be more of these scenes until the end of the year.

Don’t get me wrong. Like I said, I want them to come home and be greeted with love and open arms. My issue is with whomever it was who called Channel 5 and told them that Big Tim would be at little Timmy’s school at exactly 8:16 Tuesday morning. Not much of a surprise now, is it TV news crew? Yeah, the camera gave it away just a little. Well, maybe not for little Timmy. He’s a little slow.

A New Day

Yesterday sucked for me. But with a little bit of quiet time and some encouragement from friends who didn’t even know they were encouraging me, I made it through. You ever get news that’s not necessarily bad, but when you get it, you react as if it’s just the worse thing to happen since the flood of double aught two BC? LAWD Why me??? How could this happen?? Not now, Sweet Jesus! Uh-huh, one of those. Well that was me yesterday.

I was mad, hurt, dumbfounded, irked, pissed, and at one point extremely hungry, but I didn’t want to eat, because I was so ANGRY. I was gonna show those mean ol’ people a thing a two. I wasn’t going to eat lunch! But I remembered I had brought in those delicious noodles and my mouth started watering. Yeah, those cheap noodles where you get like 1,679 for $1? Man, add some garlic powder, a little green onion, white pepper, some grilled chicken and a little parmesan cheese, and you got yourself something right there. Oh, yeah I have that recipe copywritten so don’t EVEN think about going all Paula Deenish on me and calling it your own.

So anywho, once I sat down and had lunch with a friend I felt better. I was still hurt, but the cut didn’t feel as deep. Then later that day, after I stopped at my favorite store (to be revealed later), I had forgotten all about the horrid happenstance from earlier in the day. Until my husband brought it up. “So what happened at work?” When I told him, HE got all mad, and I had to calm him down. And in telling him that it wasn’t so bad, that it wasn’t the end of the world and that worse things have happened, I realized that maybe the whole thing wasn’t so bad after all. What was the final effect on me in the end? Not a doggone thing. Nothing in my life would change. So what the heck was I griping for? Who knows?

And this morning I woke up with a better attitude and a regenerated understanding of how life can be all that I need it to be if I stop letting the stupid stuff get to me. Things happen and some people are put on this earth to make those things happen. I can either stop and let those people and things get to me, or I can continue on my path to get where I’m going. When something bad happens, I have to put it behind me as soon as possible and look forward to moving on.

That's the best thing for anyone to do.

Today is a new day. Don’t look back on tomorrow. You might run into a wall and knock out a tooth. That happened to me in 1st grade.

Cinco de Ridiculous

A school in California sent a few students home on May 5, because the Hispanic principal at the school felt it was disrespectful for students to wear red, white and blue and clothes with the American flag depicted on the day of a Mexican holiday .

Oh. Em. Gee. What the heck is going on here people? Please keep in mind that the school's dress code does NOT prohibit wearing clothes with the American flag depicted nor the colors red, white & blue.

First of all, Cinco de Mayo is an American fueled holiday geared to make people spend money on booze and trinkets. Kind of like most holidays celebrated in America. Cinco de Mayo isn't even a big deal in Mexico. So why in the name of sanity is there an uproar in a California school about kids wearing the colors of the American flag.

Why are we always so much more concerned with how other people feel over the concerns of our own feelings, families and traditions.

The anti-Christmas rally faltered after retailers tried to keep the Christ out of Christmas and attempted to make that time of year all about greeting the season. The backlash from Americans was too much of a force to be reckoned with, so they "allowed" the Christ back in.

But now we're saying its wrong to display the colors of the American flag because we choose to celebrate a third rate Mexican holiday? Really?

Seriously. What is really going on here?

http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local-beat/Students-Wearing-American-Flag-Shirts-Sent-Home-92945969.html

Pick Your Battles

Black People Must Leave, NJ Walmart Announcer Says

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. – A Walmart store announcement ordering black people to leave brought chagrin and apologies Wednesday from leaders of the company, which has built a fragile trust among minority communities.

A male voice came over the public-address system Sunday evening at a store in Washington Township, in southern New Jersey, and calmly announced: “Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now.”

Shoppers in the store at the time said a manager quickly got on the public-address system and apologized for the remark. And while it was unclear whether a rogue patron or an employee was responsible for the comment, many customers expressed their anger to store management.
“I want to know why such statements are being made, because it flies in the face of what we teach our children about tolerance for all,” said Sheila Ellington, who was in the store at the time with a friend. “If this was meant to be a prank, there’s only one person laughing, and it’s not either one of us.”

Ellington, of Monroe, and her friend Patricia Covington said they plan to boycott the retailer until they’re assured the issue has been addressed so it doesn’t happen again.

What I want to know is, even after management quickly apologized to everyone and you know WalMart welcomes EVERYBODY’S money, why are you boycotting the store?

There are stupid, ig’nant people everywhere. There’s not much we can do about that. What if it happened at your child’s school or at your job. Would those things cease?

They don’t even know if it was an employee or a customer. AND it’s not like the person used the “n” word or said, “all y’all are funky”.

You just can’t stop the stupid, but lets not join them.

Atlanta Idol Auditions

After watching the first hour of Idol in Atlanta, I must say that I’m a little disappointed. With all the music moguls we have associated with our fair city, this is what we get?



Dewone Robinson and his original hot mess adaptation of cats in heat. Absolutely dreadful.
Television host, Christy SomebodyOrAnother with her goofy 4-1-1 The Show gesture. She had the unmitigated gall to take Pat Benatar’s Love is a Battlefield and blow the dang song to smithereens. Simon appropriately commented that her show should be called 9-1-1.



And Jesse Hamilton. God bless him. Long, skinny, country kid who apparently inherited George Washington’s wooden teeth. I could barely understand what he was saying because the kid barely opened his mouth. Mary J. cracked two ups before the poor child even started singing, and I was a little disappointed in her for that. But then the kid . . . well, I’ll say he sang just to get on with it, but singing ain’t what he did. It was supposed to be a Garth Brooks song, but it sounded more like something from Garth of Wayne’s World. And no, it was not excellent. At that point, I felt Mary’s pain.



Moving on to Hollywood from the first Atlanta hour is energetic carrot topped Keia Johnson who sang the Titanic song. I thought she was a little too loud, but the judges liked her.
Vanessa Wolf also moved on. She’s a little country girl from Vonore, Tennessee. She sang a little country ditty that had quite a twang to it. I thought she was pretty bad, but the judges liked her.
Jermaine Sellers who takes care of his sick mother also made it through to Hollywood. He sang What if God was One of Us. I thought he was just a little pitchy, but the judges . . . do you see where I’m going with this?



Let’s see what hour two in Atlanta brings . . .It brought on a bunch of crazies is what it brought.
Holly from Rockmart, the Human Guitar. I forget what song she sang, and didn’t think it would matter because I didn’t think she would make it through. I didn’t like her. The judges did.
Mallorie Haley – Another Little Piece of My Heart. I thought she was loud and off key. So of course she goes through to Hollywood. I did like her shoes, though.



And then there was Skiiboski aka Antonio Willis. An apparent character looking for face time. He sang Grapevine and wasn’t too bad, but the whole “act” threw everyone off a little. He did make it through however.



Then we have what is evidently what Barbie’s vomick would look like – BFFs, Carmen & Lauren. Lauren had a sweet, soft voice, barely audible. Carmen comes along and just belts one out. Carmen makes it through. Lauren puts up a good supportive front, but you can tell she’s hurt. I think the second F just fell from the BF.



Police Officer Bryan Walker gets the final golden ticket of the night after his rendition of Superstar ala Luther Vandross. He was deceitfully good. A nerdy looking guy that did Luther proud, IMO. Whodda thunk?



The Atlanta auditions certainly gave us some weirdos, but none as weird or as scary as Lamar Royal (I dubbed him Crazy Joe before I even knew his name). Dude had an okay voice as he tried to perform Kiss from a Rose. He just over did it. As the judges tried to advise him, he talked over them and argued and ranted and raved so much, they had to bring out the muscle and have him escorted out to the street, where he again proved that he needs more work. Dude was actually crazy.



Finishing up the night was General Larry Pitt with what will be this season’s “Brother” song. The General performed his own original song, Pants on the Ground. Simon predicts it will be a hit. I’m afraid he’s right. Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Lookin’ like a fool wit yo’ pants on the ground. Dang it! It’s already stuck in my head.



Let’s hope next week’s visit to Chicago will bring more talent and less crazy. Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. . . DANG IT!

Barbie Just Can't Win

As much as Barbie is loved, and for as long as she has been around, the poor thing just can’t win. A few years ago people complained that her boobs were too big and she needed a reduction. Mattel obliged and took Barbie from 40 DD to a 38 C. Bless their hearts.

In the years since, there have been minor complaints that have mostly been ignored and swept under the rug. But I’m sure even Mattel knew it wouldn’t last for long. They tried to incorporate a specific line of African American dolls to their line. Three beautiful, full lipped, wide nosed, brown eyed Barbies. I thought they did a good job.

Then here comes the people who apparently have no lives to speak of – they complain that the “black Barbies” are too skinny and their hair is too long and too straight. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to buy a doll who looks like Precious. I don’t. I just don’t. I really don’t want to. Some people just aren’t happy with anything. I appreciate Mattel at least making the effort.

And with all our loveliness, we forget that quite a few of us have weaves in our hair to make it look longer and straighter. And most of us would love to shed a few pounds. So what’s wrong with a doll that looks like the singers and actresses that kids look up to already?

If you want your child to have self esteem, you as the parent or guardian are responsible for that. Leave Barbie alone and stop blaming everything and everyone else for your not properly rearing your children.

Can people ever be happy? It’s a DOLL for goodness sake.